Thursday, 17 December 2009

rising panic

Today I had a sinking feeling that I might not quite catch up with myself before the big day. As so often happens with me, I seem to be floating around in a little dream world entirely of my own making. My grasp of reality, and the fact that there are only seven days left, is clearly a little 'off'.

Still, the thing with being in a dream world is that I still believe that all will unfold perfectly. My knitting will fly off the needles, cards will be made, witty and warm messages written inside, they will all arrive in time (despite missing the last post), and the little incidental, fun presents will get made as well. And there will be time for some creative wrapping.

I delayed going to work this morning so I could walk on the beach instead, taking calming deep breaths of fresh salty air, paddling in the sea in my wellies, and enjoying just being in the moment. Because let's face it, the world won't fall apart if I don't get everything done.

I also made the time to step outside as the light was fading, to catch the gulls.


It's these little moments that help the big ones flow.

12 comments:

kristina said...

Your walk on the beach sounds like just the thing. Everything that needs to get done will get done. Somehow it always does. At least that's what I tell myself :) K x

Diane said...

Its totally a "woman" thing. You don't find blokes in the same state at this time of year - but we do it to ourselves don't we!! I'd opt for a stroll along the beach anytime! Stop piling the pressure on yourself buy a nice pack of Christmas cards if you have to. As you say, the world wont stop turning, you might even feel "liberated"!! Have a great Christmas Diana. xxx

Pipany said...

It'll happen Diana. At least that's what I'm hoping! Lovely picture of the gulls and a reminder that I am not getting myself outside enough. xx

ginny said...

hurrah for these little moments of clarity at the bigger picture... don't worry too much diana.. just plod on as you are and it will all come together... and if there is anything a little late then it is the thought and the time that is important and most friends/family will appreciate this .. i also am very good at sending happy new year cards as the christmas ones never seems to get done in time.. and this suits me fine as i like to be a little different...
warmest wishes
xxx

Simone said...

Don't panic Diana! I am sure you will get done what you need to get done and if not that's OK too!x

heidi said...

I was feeling like that diana,a bit panic stricken thinking i will never be ready but then gradually everything seems to fall into place.
I love the gulls,especially the 'cornish' ones they are sooo huge with a cheeky character!! x

Gina said...

It will come and go whether we are ready or not... so I for one quite like inhabiting that little dream world.

driftwood said...

you're right, you need to take those little moments for yourself xxxx

A Bun Can Dance said...

Well, Diana, I could have written your first paragraph myself! Just like you I am dolly daydreaming along... but somehow it all comes together in the end doesn't it? Yesterday I was pondering this point: If it was somebody's birthday and I didn't give them their gift on the day itself, it really wouldn't matter, would it? So why do we create the pressure to 'do it all' by Christmas day? Crazy!
Your walk on the beach sounds just lovely. I've just had a brisk and extremely cold walk, but feel better for it.
Happy weekend
Denise x

The Curious Cat said...

Lovely photo...yes, I agree, one can speed around at this time of year and before they know it the time has come and gone. I'm finding it harder than ever this year because I'm so preoccupied with my grief with my split-up. I need to try and shake myself from it and stop and see the real world for a bit. This zombie state is having its effect because today I was suddenly like 'hang on a min - christmas is next week!!!'

suzanne said...

How true! I started to whip myself up into a frenzy the other day......and then I made a list! Now it all seems managable.

Ali said...

Yup, sometimes the opt out moments are the best. I think I am resigned to not sending out Christmas cards this year.